Monday, October 11, 2010

TECHNOLOGY IN A FLASHBACK

                                                      
         
Disclaimer---This work of mine is a complete work of fiction and any similarities to living or dead should be humbly passed over as I too am a human being and require inspirations from my ubieties.
We are in the age of inspiration. New and unique styles are out and retro is in. All the bold check prints of my mom’s college life are being utilised by me after giving it a tint of today.
Now, since we are too busy going back to old decades, following the strange makeup, equally strange wardrobes and horrifying hairdos, I have framed a scene from any other 70s movie but with a technologically different crew of casts. Here goes the list-
Himani, my younger sis- the zalim dad and a very rich landowner
(I was compelled to include her as she was the first online reader of my blog)
Our desktop (back at home) - DT babu,
Me, here at my place- the lead actress (off course, it’s my imagination after all J )
My laptop- lappy, the baby
                         Scene 1
Me to DT babu—mujhe apse kuch baat karni hai
Mai apke hardware ki maa ban ne wali hu.. mai apse bohot pya karti hu, mujh abla ko apna lo sahib...
DT babu—tumari himmat kaise hui aisa sochne ki??? Hum dono ke intelligence me zameen asman ka antar hai...kaha tera chota sa human dimag jiska tu 5% b nahi use kar pati aur kaha mai..2 GB RAM aur 180 GB hard disk...hum dono me zameen asman ka antar hai...slow processor nikal ja yahan se...nikal jaa...
Me—theek hai aaj to mai jaa ri hu lekin yaad rakhna ek din tu issi chaukhat pe mere pairon me gir kar mujhse mafi mangega lekin mai tujhe thokar maarungi...bohot ghamad hai na tujhe apne iss artificial intelligence pe. Dekhna kameene mai tujhe teri asli aukat dikha kar hi rahungi...
AFTER 20 YEARS
Ye aapka hi beta hai DT SAHIB...aaj se bees saal pehle aapne mujhe apne ghar se beizzat kar ke nikala tha..aaj mai fir ussi chaukhat pe khadi hun...
Lappy: nai maa mai iss zalim ki aulad hargiz nai ho sakta.. bhale hi meri rago me isska windows 7 beh raha hai lekin mera isse koi rishta nai koi rishta nai....(cries)
ENTERS THE BAAP OF DT SAHIB, THE THAKUR SAHIB..
THAKUR: khamosh ladke, apni had me reh...
Me- are aao aao thakur sahib..apki hi kami hai..
Thakur: khamosh ladki, tum logo ki himmat kaise hui yahan aane ki...ye kal ka chokra hota kon hai mere bête se is tarah se baat karne wala???
Me: ye aapke kul ka waris hai.. ye apke bête ki mujhse pyaar karne ki nishani hai..
Thakur: nai.. aisa nai ho sakta...ye sab jhoot hai...tum log bus paise ki lalach me yahan aaye ho...waise bhi hamare parivar me to sabi bhari bharkam desttop rhe hai aur ye adna sa dubla patla neela sa chokra...ye hamare khandan ka ho hi nai skta...
Me: are jane dijiye sahib...jab apne hi kisi ko apnane se inkar kar dete hai aur use uske haal par marne ke liye chod dete hai to wo bachpan se hi apni sari bandishe sari peripheral devices tod deta hai... uske ander itna zeher bhar jata hai ki wo bachpan se hi neela pad jata hai...aur aaj ye tumse aur tumhare bête se kai guna behtar hai... 4 GB RAM aur 320 GB hardisk with additional features like Bluetooth and much more...
Thakur- begairat aurat, nikal ja mere ghar se...mere bête pe jhuta ilzam lagate hue tujhe sharam nahi aati...arre ye to itna pavitra hai ki devta bhi iske charan dho dho ke peete hi...
Me- aap sharam ihaz ki baat karte hai??? Maine barso pehle sharam ke saare bandhan tod ke aapke bête se pyaar kiya tha...lekin mujhe kya mila?? Zindagi bhar ka dukh dard aur meri kokh me ye mere pyar ki neeli nishani???
Lappy- maa ab tumhe pareshan hone ki zarurat nahi hai... mai in logo se tumari badnami ka badla zaroor loonga..
Me- nahi beta, ye tumhare apne hai, inse badla lene ke bare me kabhi bhul ke bhi mat sochna...inhone hame nahi apnaya to kya hua.. ham inhe kabhi nuksan nahi pohchayenge... kabhi  inhe inki memory ke basis pe neecha nai dikhayenge. Kabhi inke hazaron wires or bulky looks ka mazak nahi udayenge...samjha???
( suddenly tears start flowing from the eyes of thakur and wash away all the malice)
Thakur- bahu hume maaf kar do, hum apne khoon ko nahi pehchan paye lekin kehte hai na khoon bhi khoon ko dekh kar ubaal marta hai... itna tej kewal humare kul me janme balak me hi ho sakta hai...
(all crying and creating howling sounds)
Me- babuji!!!! Mujhe maaf kar dijiye mere katu vachano ke liye...
DT- priye mujhe meri galti sudharne ka ek mauka to do..
Me- esa mat kahiye swami mera sab kuch aapka hi hai...
(Screaming sounds like MAA, BABUJI, BETA, BAHU, and SASURJI......)
And after this saga of torture redefined, they lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER.........
-  

 -sincerely yours,
   Moulshree Kulkarni

1 comment:

  1. kya yaar!! seriously, this was the heights moulshree kulkarni!!... but i must say good imagination!! thoda dassail ho gya tha but overall really nice.. i wonder if anything more insane is still in store and yet to come than this??... waiting for ur next blog..luv

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